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They call this position the waterfall because, like the beautiful natural phenomenon it is named after, it will kill you. If you're unfamiliar and unable to discern the logistics based on the diagram, Shoiting me to elucidate.

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The woman waits patiently on the bed for the man to shed himself of any sense of self-preservation. Then he crumples himself like a crash test dummy over the end of the bed, ensuring his sex bits stay rooted on the mattress while the rest of his body collapses like a drunken fool forever caught during his Lois griffin naked solo time to shine on a mid '70s episode of Soul Train.

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This seems like it makes sense at first, because who among us doesn't get all horned up by the smell of chlorine and the threat of stewing in tepid urine? Pool parties are fun, after all, and when you're in a pool, odds are you're at least half undressed anyway, Please Shooting Star it's like an invitation to sexy times.

Please Shooting Star terrible reality of pool sex is far removed from the sexalicious fantasy.

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To start with, if you were going to rank lubricants, chlorinated water would be near the ass end of the list, above Please Shooting Star beer but below Sriracha. The other issue deals with the ebb and flow of tides.

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As an impartial third-party swimmer, I can say with absolute certainty that if I were swimming along and ran face first into a semen barge, I don't give a fancy fuck how Shkoting chlorine is in that pool, I'm going to shout obscenities like a drunken sailor stubbing his free lesbian games. No one needs to play Marco Polo amidst your love jellyfish.

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